Yeah...It's Like That!

It's like having the whole family all together for Labor Day weekend. You've got coolers full of drinks, cold watermelon, tonnes of food, and you're at the boat dock staring down the shining length of your 32 footer. You back the trailer into the sparkling water, the sun is glistening off the chrome. Palm trees are waving lazily in a light breeze and the day just sings with the promise of the day to come. Your boat bobs gently in the surf, and you tie up to the dock to load everyone and everything on. With the sun warming your face and laughter in the air, you hit the ignition. 'Cough', 'sputter', 'RRRRRrrrrrr', the engine catches, roars to life...and 'cough', 'choke'...and it dies with a belch of smoke. You try again and again, each time getting the engine to turn over, then listening to it sputter and cough into oblivion. The silence on the boat is palpable. The air hangs a little heavier. There's a sense of unfulfilled expectation as you realize, that for all your planning, all your hopes for a big event...there's going to be a long ride home with some disappointed relatives.

Folks, welcome to my last three days worth of labor! My contractions kick in and get going along just 'swimmingly' at five minutes apart, one minute long. That's hard enough to have to breathe through...then 'cough', 'sputter', and with a final heave...the engine dies and I am left with the knowledge that there is absolutely nothing I can do to kick-start the engine if it doesn't want to go. This little boat will not float!! As it is, I am now obsessing every moment, focused on my large beach ball tummy and mentally jumping on every twinge like it might be a prelude to 'the real thing'. No such luck so far.

I know it's only a matter of time...but why can't it be MY time?! Who's driving this boat anyway?! Must we really leave the timing up to an infant who hasn't even taken it's first breath yet? It seems like a lot of responsibility for one little guy. I think every pregnancy should come with it's own red button to begin the countdown. It should be automatically supplied by every physician at 38 weeks. What's going on in the last two weeks anyway?? Like I need to gain another pound or two? Like the baby needs one more week to become a genius? Maybe I need more lessons in patience. Maybe I need to pick up a different hobby, childbearing and boating don't seem to be going well these days!