Confessions of a Closet Fame Seeker

It is odd to note that I check my blog site religiously every day for signs that I am not alone in the universe. I scroll down the posts checking for a number besides "0" in the comments section at the bottom of each posting, like a castaway scanning for ships on the horizon. Speaking of which...what is on my horizon? So far...lots of lonely words that no one will ever read! That's the trouble with being a drop in the bucket...a star in the night sky...bright, lovely...but lost against the velvet backdrop that holds millions of stars that look the same from way down here.

I confess that I am hoping for discovery. There, it's out. My inner-most thoughts splashed across this blog for the whole web to read. I am hoping that, like the ghetto kid playing street ball in a deserted lot in the the middle of inner-city Chicago, I too will be noticed by a random passerby with the connections to get me to the NBA of the literary world. I don't have much time on the court, but don't my shots look sweet?! Nothin' but net! Truthfully, I admit that though I know with full certainty that the fairy god-editor does NOT exist...I still weep in the garden in hopes that I will find myself 'bippity-boppity-booed' off to a three-novel contract ball, or fitted with tiny shining glass pens and sent off in a magical coach to my own column in the middle of a major publication.

Alas, it is about as likely that I will be discovered for my incredible potential sex appeal and wind up on a new reality television show called "Extreme Makeover: Mom's Edition (Reversing the Ravages of Nature)". Still, I putt about the keyboard in hopes of striking the eyes and hearts of readers with influence. Or...how about readers in general? I would be happy to begin with a simple following, a small fan club perhaps...something with which to sway the attention of the larger fish. Hmmm. Perhaps I will stick to writing for my husband and mother who happily check my blog site for new additions daily.

I know myself well enough to know that I will still scroll feverishly down my blogs hoping for signs that there is life on the net...some small sign that that I am not alone in the weblog universe. Perhaps the one person, other than my above-mentioned two readers, to note my tiny grain-of-sand posting on the endless beach of blogs, will be the one person who can tell me whether or not I have a talent worth pursuing. If we didn't dream, we would crumble under the enormity of our daily grind! That being said, I am thankful for my daily grind. Yet when I sit at the keyboard and send another blog off in its bobbing corked bottle into the tides of the unknown, I hope that somewhere, someday, someone will find me. They'll tell me I'm brilliant...and roll out the red carpet to my glittering future as a popular columnist /freelancer /screenwriter /novelist. It isn't asking much of the cosmos is it? Surely not.

Until then, I am here to meet your entertainment needs, fill my corner of the net with random warbling, and to keep sending out my messages in a bottle. May the waves, winds and web be good to me.